Political Rally in Lincoln

Monkey business causes a stir.

This last Thursday saw the return of a political agitator to Lincoln, with crowds flocking to hear him speak.

Taking the stage at his favourite disreputable drinking den, Professor Elemental exhorted the crowds with the philosophy of his political party. The eponymous Elementary party, which seems to consist of one rapper and his monkey, has yet to declare which seat it may be standing for.

When contacted for a statement Professor Elemental told us; "Our policies are simple, more Earl Grey and a few less bankers eating all the cake."

Other policies discussed on the night were the proposed law against feeding trolls and a declaration of war, though it was unclear who against. All that was clear was the approval of the crowd as they bayed for more of the Khaki clad rhetoric.


This reporter also tried to obtain a statement from Geoffrey, who some people claim is the real power in the party. When asked his opinion of the current regime he flung his excrement at the crowd. Sometimes nothing needs to be said.

Westminster has yet to respond.