Author Writes Book That Sends You Mad

Literary lunacy ensues!

There has been much talk recently about a work of fiction which, if read, guarantees a person a one way trip to bedlam. Due to the non compos mentis nature of the people who have read it, no one is actually sure what this book is about. However, we have tracked down the author of this deranged volume.

Craig Hallam, former Captain of the Ipswitch girls under 11's bare-knuckle boxing team, was found hiding in a cellar in Leeds. After coaxing him out of his hidey hole we asked him about the themes in his book:

"In short it's a towering epic of a novel, with a few sizzling gypsies thrown in.I don't know why people are going bonkers from it. I've read it dozens of times and I'm as sane as the Prince of Wubble."

We also managed to speak to a young girl, that was either his carer or someone he'd kidnapped, and asked her what she thought of the book. Unfortunately she could only manage to respond by staring into the middle distance and laughing.

Unfortunately for now it seems the contents of this book will remain uncertain and, for the sake of public safety, we recommend no-one read it. If you do find yourself with a copy, please place it in a wooden chest and hide it in the wardrobe, just to be on the safe side.